3rd quarter

New semester have come. Its 3rd semester now. More challenge to come. I need to keep on fighting, need concentration and focus more this time (though I have a partime contract job with office in about 3 months period. Hope it will not effect my study or vice versa). I'm quite worried actually. What to do, I have to!

This sem's subjects that I have took are, 1) solid and toxic waste management , 2) environmental toxicology and risk assessment , 3) land development and environment, 4) seminar and a research project need to be started already for the next semester. Huuuuu

I hope I can make through this, until the end of this semester and up to the very end of this master courses ,estimated early of next year.. I pray for myself and other too who are at the same state as me, do your best !!

Emergency

Last monday, it was early in the morning when I went out to the backyard to dry laundry ( is the term correct?) , my eyes caught into something, the tail of a phyton! It really scared me @_@.

And a few minutes after I called the Bomba, the team came, with their big truck! What an experience for me. Erkk~~

The unsolved mystery

It happened last Monday around 12 midnight. I was watching tv and suddenly i heard a weird noise came from the fish pond area. It was really strange and scary because it was loud. The sound was like a 'living things' struggle on the pebbles bed. No sound from the 'thing' only the sound of scratching and struggling that came into contact with the stones pebbles area. And there was a few times a sound of water splashing or something going into the water. I had a bad feeling on it, so I sneak a peek at the door to see it, but I saw nothing. Plus I was scared that I didn't want to see anything bad so I closed the door immediately. I rushed and just went to bed.

On the next day, I done my routine feeding the fish. I closed the water system for a while. At first, I didn't realise anything until a few hours later when saw the foods a gave didn't finish like usual. I wonder why, because it is really unusual for them behaving to not eating. Then I realised that there was only 2 fishes in the pond with a tortoise! Where are the rest?! Then only I realise the 2 fishes corpse lying on the stones pebbles bed. The big Patin fish In which have been beaten by something. And the other is the small kaloi fish. I think the rest have been eaten by the 'thing'. I wonder what the thing is. It can't be fish because the bites is big for a cat. Nor can't be a dog. Dog can't climb a fence. Then, what is it??

Hati keras

Kenapa hati ni.. Bukan baru 'declare' hati keras ke dgn dia. Lepas sms je dengan dia rasa sedih.. Tambahan pula dengan kelas english tadi yang tidak begitu memberangsangkan.. Lagi menambahkan rundum dalam hati .. Macam dicucuk- cucuk.. Yang pasti bukan dicucuk hasil daripada kelas tadi.. Tapi dia! Okay2 cukup. Fokus study. Banyak lagi nak dihadamkan! Cayok2!!

But still... Tears is dropping :(

Sangkanya indah hingga ke petang, tetapi...

It's hard to believe it. Aku terkilan, walau hati cuba dipujuk tabah. Aku terkilan aku dilayan begini.. Bukan aku x ingatkan dia, aku igtkn jgn cuba nk wat hati aku gusar dan luka..Memang x terjangka, terasa hati ni dipermainkan, atau mungkin ini satu ujian? Atau juga petunjuk yang aku pohon padaNya selama ini. Walaupun pedih semacam rasa ni, Ya Allah aku redha.. Jika menjelang tahun depan, keadaan masih sama, aku tekad, i need to move on. Face the reality. Ya Allah jika benar Engkau beri nikmat itu cuma seketika utk ku , aku redha.. Benar. Selainnya aku berserah padaMu , tetapi berikan lah aku apa yg terbaik disisiMu.

Amin

Down

Shall i just be shined and brighten like the orchid?

Type - backspace - type - backspace ... Type!

Nah... It seems everything went wrong ;(

It's a mixed up feeling... Sad , useless , unwanted, neglected..and missing someone... I know, It is wrong to say that I don't want to live anymore, but that is giving up! I shouldn't be ... 

Nauzubillah.

Dear Allah, guide me and give me strength.

Soul

Malu . resah . segan . Teruja . Sedih . Gembira .

Aku harus akur, kata-kata yang dah diluahkan tidak mampu ditarik semula. Persoalannya, apakah dia mampu manerimanya? Reaksinya pula? Adakah 2 hati ini bakal menjauh? Mungkinkah, tindakan itu terlalu drastik?
Aku terpaksa, kerana aku x terdaya lagi menanggungnya... Aku berserah dengan apa jua yg bakal berlaku...

Namun, sabar... Aku masih tidak bersedia menerima sebarang jawapan... Gugup.. Resah.. ;(

Ya Allah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang, berikan aku kekuatan dalam menghadapi segala kemungkinan yang berlaku yang telah Engkau tetapkan, aku redha dan aku pasrah apa jua ketentuanMu..
Amin ya rabbal alamien.

**Terasa nk capai spek mata hitam and wear it all day long...Muka tebal....  =_=

Like lullabies ....

Image courtesy from indianhindunames.com

Like lullabies you are, 
Forever in my mind.
I see you in all,
The pieces in my life.
Though you weren't mine,
you were my first love.

I wanted to go away with you,
And I will leave all my troubles here.
I wanted to run away with you,
And I will bring all my dreams and fears.

Like lullabies you are, 
Forever in my mind.
I see you in all,
The pieces in my life.
Though you weren't mine…
Like lullabies you are, 
Forever in my mind.
I see you in all,
The pieces in my life.
Though you weren't mine

Though you weren't mine,
You were my first love.
You were my first love.

I wanted to start again with you,
And I will leave all my worries here.
I wanted only you.
I know that I (have fear with you??)

Like lullabies you are, 
Forever in my mind.
I see you in all,
The pieces in my life.
Though you weren't mine…
Like lullabies you are, 
Forever in my mind.
I see you in all,
The pieces in my life.
Though you weren't mine,

Though you weren't mine,
You were my first love.
You were my first love.
You were my first love.

by : Yuna

..............................................

So, is this how it feels......huh?,

overwhelm feelings . 

Sun rises

       

New semester

The second semester is started. Going to take 4 subjects in row, Man & Ecosystem, Industrial environment management, environmental law & "I forgot what is the last one is".

Well, new semester with new
'azam' . More planning , organised, and ready your self to be energetic and alert in any situation, as per mention by prof Makmom, " you need to get out from the comfort zone, release your gear and get up!" ;) huhuuu..

Last minute plan

Aku mendapat panggilan telefon daripada shima mempelawa aku untuk 'join' aktiviti gila, bermalam di Genting malam itu (including sy syakila n azuana). And it was very last minute, she called me around 5 p.m and wished to depart at 7.30. Pada asalnya kerana mereka tidak mempunyai kenderaan yang kondusif buat masa itu dan memerlukan kereta ku. Tetapi, pada ketika itu kenderaan ku dipinjam Ahmad. At the end, Syakilah always have the backup plan with her. Her 'best buddy' always there for her. Huhuuu.. kami just join sekaki ;)

So, Syakilah as the director of the trip booked a hotel for the night at Awana Hotel, for rm305 per night! Pretty costly, but that was the cheapest we have got, others were sold out! Woww! very common scenario of Genting during weekend we thought...




Here some snapshot sduring the trip, enjoy!

View from Awana hotel, room 10558- Good Morning sunrise!

no.68 - view from inside the skyway 

skyways climbing -  Fog fills up the  air

Long wait for a technician guy to come -
Our chargeable locker system down, and we have even paid rm10 for 2 hrs! 

Missing him

I miss this little guys so badly.... ;(
He is now 1 year and 4 month, and stay in Bertam,Penang as my brother is working there for almost a year I think, or two? Nah I do not remember...

The fact that he is the 1st grandchild in the family , He absolutely an apple of the eye to us. Hehehe.. Lama sudah tiada kehadiran budak kecik dalam family, that is why... Faris, he can walk already. The problem is, demam- demam pun tak mahu duduk diam. Sentiasa nak menggunakan skill yang baru dipelajari tu... Risau tengok fael dia ni pun ada.... Haihhh. Faris... Faris... ;)

Stuck in the middle

2 minute distance become a 2 hours journeys. I had stuck since 6.30 pm on sg besi highway from Mines toward uniten. A tremendous bad traffic jammed I have ever had besides balik kampung fever!!! this is ridiculous !!! I mumbled to myself.. Cars not moving at all, and I didn't got the chance breaking my fast, plus ... I skipped Asr and maghrib yet.. Oh Allah please forgive me ;(.... This is madness!!!! What is wrong with things front there?! Ohhhh .......



A few minutes later, cars get moving slowly ...And guess what ?? The cause of this terrible traffics is ....flood!

.......

Moral of the story:
- Patient is the most important, do not simply curse everything .. There must be a reason of everything that is happen.
- make sure your fuel car is always enough for travel. We never aspect what will happen during our driving mode. If not, when things like this happen , there will be dead cars on the road which however will cause trouble to the others..

Only a ;) needed to describe it

Breathtaking.... Tanah Lot, Bali Apr 12'

Aku lihat dia disana

Aku ingin mendekatinya

Aku cuba menghampirinya

Lalu aku menyapa dia

Dia pun membuka bicara

Dan aku mulai mengenalnya

Kita mulai bermain mata

Mula timbul rasa bahagia

Bila dia, mendekati diriku

Hatiku rasa sesuatu

Bila dia, senyum pada diriku

Hatiku rasa tak menentu

Kekadang hati ku bertanya

Adakah dia dah berpunya

Kerana diriku berasa

Aku jatuh hati padanya

Aku ingin memilikinya

Aku ingin menjaga dia

Aku ingin mencinta dia

Aku ingin hidup dengannya

Bila dia, mendekati diriku

Hatiku rasa sesuatu

Bila dia, senyum pada diriku

Hatiku rasa tak menentu

Mungkinkah aku, kan berjumpa dengannya

Untuk meluahkan rasa

Mungkinkah aku, kan berdiam diri saja

Menunggu cinta darinya

Ku terima satu nota darimu

Yang tertulis ‘Aku suka kamu’

Bila dia, mendekati diriku

Hatiku rasa sesuatu

Bila dia, senyum pada diriku

Hatiku rasa tak menentu

Akhirnya kini ku kan mampu ceria

Diriku sangat gembira

Akhirnya kini, aku mulai bahagia

Menerima cinta darinya

Aku suka dia

By : Ainan Tasneem

......... lagu yg dekat di hati ketika ini =) . 

C.i.n.t.a Kudus

Ya Allah, aku memohon kecintaanMU, kecintaan orang yang sentiasa mencintaiMU, kecintaan apa sahaja mendekatkan diriku kepadaMU, dan masukkanlah aku ke syurga bersama-sama kecintaan itu..

.....Mencari cinta biarlah cinta yang diredhai-Nya....

Recovery mode - Part 3

I was finally been discharged on Sunday!! yeay! to me~
Melangkah keluar daripada building itu... dipancari sinar perit mentari..... and i got uneasy....
Seperti deria bau makin sensitif...


Recover mode begin .. elastic mouth-shut, no solid food, only liquid, yet, feels like craving for more good foods! 




Numb.
-
-
-
-
Bleeds...
-
-
-
-
Relieve...
-
-
-
-
Bored...
-
-
-
-
-
Sigh =)

Full Stop

- Mark Twain

31 May 2012 , was so-called an e-day. Since then, it has took me a few trials to step out from the zone, point-less zone. It was not totally, point-less, after all that i have went through, gained and learned back then. Yet, still i do not feel a real achievement in me there. Feels like, nothing will change if i stay there any longer.While, my heart keep telling me to walk through the door ... and just, search for other means. Apparently, my post-grad study was one of all the reasons besides of uncontrolled-workloads i had. I cannot afford to give my full commitment on both at a time. 


This is mad...I quit... and i got no backup plan....and yet, sigh.


Treasure every bit of seconds we had, and settle debts of  all list-things-to-do soonest possible, and work on plans, and move forward!


Ya Allah , aku yakin akan limpahan rezeki-Mu pada hamba-Mu ini. Amin~

' Jika kau mendapat perkerjaan yang kau cintai, maka kau tak akan merasa berkerja sepanjang hidupmu' - Semangat Positif @ twitter

later,

snooze.

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Only a piece of memory

Salam semua, it's been a while since i had my last post here. Since, dah ter'log-in' here, why not i give it one now :D. Yeah, a lot of things come and a go within this period; an up-and-down career path, leisure activities plus new venture in activities (i've done mount climbing-Gunung Cabang, and paintball w/ officemates), its awesome!!. Here some of the pics at Gunung Cabang .

@ the peak

Here we are Cabangians.heh!

watch this, bokeh style is it?? - canon g11

sneak peak preview before reaching to the top

enjoy hiking with u olls geng :D

Enough of the hiking thingy, even its so damn tired, but its worth it!! next mount, anyone?? naa, may be next time. heheee..

........................................

To what have happened to the world- japan earthquake , politic's phenomenon of the world and our country itself, its seems that we are reaching to it ends...are we prepare to that?? ya, it takes us, too many time to spend and to think of the so-called life matter, how about the after-life preparation, are we prepare enough ?? Ya, sesungguhnya manusia sentiasa alpa dengan apa yang berada di depan matanya. Pesanan buat semua dan diriku, banyakkan zikir dan selawat setiap hari selain solat 5 waktu yang wajib kita tunaikan. Bekalkan diri kita dengan sebanyak mungkin amal ibadah.

Cubalah jadikan hari ini lebih baik dari semalam,

InsyaAllah

Doa + Taubat

Jodoh? Kawin?? hrm ni la isu aku skrg.. Ding dong ding dong.. skrg sudah masuk bulan 11.. dan bulan depan is bln12. what??? sungguh cepat masa berlalu. Bermakna meningkat lagi usiaku.. ape pencapaian hidup setakat ni?? nak kate kerjaya, masih suam2 kuku..nak kata kearah membina masjid. jauh sekali.. keinginan memang ada tapi jalannya seperti tiada... aku buntu..

Aku yakin, masih ada kawan2 ku diluar sana yang merasakan yang sama. Jodoh, semuanya ketentuan Illahi. kita mampu berusaha hanya Dia yang menentukan. Cepat atau lambat itu juga kerja-Nya. Tatkala ini, aku merenung dan menilai diri sendiri. . pasti ada sebab dan hikmah disebalik ini semua.

Kata-kata komentar dari seorang saudara melalui Myjodoh weblog sgt berkesan di sudut hati:

"Jodoh kita telah pun ditentukan oleh tuhan. Apabila tuhan menghalangi sesuatu dari seseorang kerana kehendakNya, sudah tentu halangan tersebut merupakan “sesuatu yang terbaik”, kerana tuhan Maha Mengetahui. Apabila tuhan telah memutuskan “sesuatu yang terbaik” kepada makhlukNya, bermakna tuhan sedang melimpahkan rahmatNya kepada makhluk itu….. Setiap yg terjadi kpd kita… hanyalah ujian Allah menguji keimanan kita, sejauh mana ketabahan.menguji keimanan dan ketakwaan… melatih manusia sentiasa bersabar dan menimbulkan keinsafan serta kesedaran.

Kekadang kita lupa doa kita lambat di makbulkan sebab bnyk sangat dosa kita lakukan di muka bumi ini… cepat bertaubat…dgn sebenarnya.ikhlas dan tidak mengulangi kesilapan lgi…

TAUBAT = kembali menjadi hamba Allah, mengabdi (beribadah) kepada Allah, menyembah hanya Allah, menjalankan kewajiban dan meninggalkan larangannya, mengikuti sunnah RasulNya dan menghindari hal-hal yang dimakruhkan.

Taubat = sadar diri telah melakukan kesalahan (lalai dalam pengabdian kepada Allah), istighfar (mohon maaf) atas kesalahan yang telah dilakukan, diikuti dengan amal shalih (berbuat kebajikan) menunaikan kewajiban dan meninggalkan kemaksiatan, serta berbuat ihsan (wajib + sunnah) …
Apatah lagi meminta ampun dan maaf kpd org yg dianiayai, fitnah, umpat…dengki dan diputuskan silaturrahim…. maka dosanya tidak akan diampunkan oleh Allah SWT…cepat2 minta maaf kalo berlaku yg demikian… "

Allah sayangi setiap hambaNya. Akan tetapi sbg manusia kitalah yang sering lupa dan mengabaikanNya. Ya aku sentiasa yakin bahawa Dia sentiasa disisiku bilamana aku memerlukanNya. Tapi mungkin , dugaan yang Dia berikan adalah juga rahmat buat hambaNya yang sering alpa. Kunci untuk segalanya in hanyalah kembali ke pangkuanNya. Sebetulnya, ini hanyalah peringatan agar kita sentiasa dapat memuhasabah dan menilai diri masing-masing.

Ya Allah aku seakan tahu, dan aku dapat merasakan pembalasan dunia akibat kelalaian diriku sendiri...Engkau tunjukkanlah pintu taubat buat ku. Amin